By Andreas Schumacher, PhD, PCC
“One of the most important — and hardest — questions a leader can ask is ‘How might I be part of the dysfunctional system I am trying to change?”
When ‘They Don’t Trust Each Other’ Is Only Part of the Story
When I began working with a division administrator I’ll call Jason, he had recently stepped into a challenging leadership environment. His team was getting results, but the way they worked together was taking a toll.
Leadership meetings had become tense and unproductive. Finger-pointing, defensive reactions, and political maneuvering were common. Team members questioned one another’s motives, and information was sometimes withheld as a source of power. Important decisions stalled because no one wanted to be blamed if something went wrong.
Jason could see that something needed to change. “They don’t trust each other,” he told me. He came to executive coaching hoping to address what he saw as a toxic team culture and build a more collaborative environment where leaders could work together effectively across functions. He was genuinely committed to that goal. But changing the culture would require him to look honestly at how his own leadership was shaping it.
Seeing His Own Role in the System
We began by gathering a fuller picture of the culture through stakeholder interviews and a review of employee engagement data. The feedback confirmed what Jason had already observed: distrust was widespread across the leadership team. But it also revealed something he hadn’t expected. Many of his colleagues experienced him as part of the problem.
Jason cared deeply about accountability and held himself and others to high standards. Those were real strengths. The challenge was that, especially when the stakes were high, those strengths could come across in ways he didn’t intend. Colleagues described him as skeptical, quick to challenge ideas, and reluctant to share information until he felt certain about a decision.
It became apparent that Jason was unintentionally reinforcing some of the behaviors he wanted the team to change. It wasn’t an easy realization, but he was willing to take the feedback seriously.
Separating Intent from Impact
Our work helped Jason look more closely at how his leadership changed when the pressure rose. Through candid reflection, feedback analysis, and observation, he began to recognize a consistent pattern.
When uncertainty increased, Jason tended to become more controlling. When mistakes occurred, he responded with greater scrutiny. His intention was a good one: he wanted to protect the organization and make sure the team delivered strong results. But his colleagues experienced something different. They became more cautious, more defensive, and less willing to raise concerns or share information before they had all the answers.
Seeing the gap between his intentions and his impact gave Jason a practical place to begin. He didn’t need to lower his standards or care less about accountability. He needed to find a different way to express those values — one that made it easier for people to be honest, contribute ideas, and work through uncertainty together.
Practicing the Behaviors That Make Trust Possible
Jason didn’t try to change the culture with a sweeping declaration. Instead, he began with the moments that happened every day. Over the next six months, he shared more of the thinking behind his decisions, even when he hadn’t yet worked out every detail. He became more comfortable saying when he didn’t have an answer and made space for disagreement before a decision was final.
Meetings gave him another place to practice. When he felt the impulse to challenge an assumption, he paused and asked an exploratory question instead. He also talked more openly about his own mistakes and what he had learned from them.
These choices may sound simple, but they asked Jason to lead differently at the very moments when the pressure made his old habits feel most necessary. With practice, he began to show his team that accountability did not have to come at the expense of openness.
The Shift: Before and After
Jason came into coaching with his attention fixed on the team: “They don’t trust each other.” Six months later, he was asking a different and far more useful question: “How am I part of the dysfunctional system I am trying to change?”
That shift did not mean taking responsibility for everything that was wrong with the culture. It meant recognizing that the way he led could either reinforce the team’s defensiveness or help ease it. Jason still cared just as deeply about accountability and strong performance. He was learning that he could uphold both without tightening his grip whenever uncertainty appeared.
His team noticed the difference. Leaders began speaking up about risks earlier, when there was still time to address them. Disagreements felt less personal, which made it easier for people to work across functions. A follow-up pulse survey confirmed what Jason was seeing in the room: trust and openness were growing.
What This Engagement Reinforced for Me as a Coach
Jason’s experience reinforced an important lesson: culture is shaped in everyday interactions, especially by how leaders respond when the pressure is on.
No leader is solely responsible for a difficult culture, but every leader influences it. Jason was willing to look honestly at his own impact and change how he led. He didn’t ask his team to trust more. By showing up differently each day, he gave his team more reason to trust him and created room for the culture to change along with him.