By Laura Hansen
“Karen didn’t need to become someone else to lead at the next level. She needed to trust the leader she already was — and make room for that leader to emerge.”
When the Expected Next Step Disappeared
When I began working with a leader I’ll call Karen, she was 36 and already a vice president — the first woman to reach that level in her construction company. She was talented, ambitious, and happiest when she was moving forward. When a peer was chosen for the operations manager position she had seen as her logical next step, Karen was deeply disappointed. The path she had been working toward suddenly seemed to end in front of her.
Karen came to coaching ready to find a new path forward. Rather than focus only on the next title, we looked at how she could use her strengths differently and what needed to change for her to lead at the next level.
Three Goals for Leading at the Next Level
As we explored what Karen wanted from coaching, three clear goals emerged. Each reflected a different aspect of the shift she needed to make to lead effectively.
Prioritize and Delegate More Effectively
Karen needed to become more intentional about where she focused her time and attention. She was the person everyone relied on to make sure the work met the highest standards, often taking on responsibilities well beyond her role. Her perfectionism made delegation difficult, and she struggled to distinguish between work that truly required her involvement and work someone else could own. As a result, she had too little time for the strategic priorities expected of a senior leader.
Set Clearer Boundaries
Fiercely loyal to her boss and deeply invested in the organization’s success, Karen rarely said no. She did not want to disappoint anyone, and she enjoyed being the person others could count on. But that pattern left her carrying more than her share. It was also exhausting. She wanted to set clearer boundaries and advocate for what she needed without feeling that she was letting people down.
Communicate with Greater Clarity and Composure
Karen felt things deeply, and in high-stakes conversations, her emotions sometimes surfaced in ways that embarrassed her — especially in a male-dominated environment. She hesitated to give critical feedback because she feared hurting people and found it difficult to state her needs without guilt.
Karen wanted to communicate more directly and hold her ground without becoming overwhelmed by emotion. But she did not want to lose the emotional attunement that made her authentic and helped her earn the trust of her boss and clients. The goal was to help her channel that strength so she could navigate difficult conversations with greater clarity and composure.
Separating an Old Message from Her Current Reality
One of Karen’s most important insights came when she recognized how much a highly critical former boss was still influencing her confidence. Although her current boss valued her work and strongly supported her, part of Karen still expected to be questioned or found wanting.
Recognizing where that self-doubt came from helped her separate the past from her current reality. She began to challenge the old internal narrative and trust the evidence of what she had already accomplished. That shift made it easier for Karen to communicate more assertively, take up more space, and show up as the strong leader she already was.
Practicing a Different Kind of Leadership
Karen became more deliberate about what truly required her attention. She delegated tactical work, advocated successfully for additional headcount, and invested in mentoring her staff. Letting go was uncomfortable. Over time, she saw that developing others was not stepping away from responsibility. It was part of leading at a higher level.
Communication carried a different tension. Karen sometimes became emotional when the stakes were high. In a male-dominated environment, she worried that emotion might weaken her credibility. She also hesitated to offer criticism because she did not want to hurt anyone. Yet her emotional attunement was one reason people trusted her. Neither of us wanted her to lose that quality.
We worked on language that allowed Karen to acknowledge what she felt without losing her message, for example: “I’m getting emotional because I care. Give me a moment to express what’s going on.” Rather than apologizing or trying to suppress what she felt, she could name the emotion and continue with greater composure.
Expanding What Influence Could Look Like
Karen’s relationship with her boss became an important place to use her voice. He supported her, but some of his behaviors reflected unconscious bias and diminished her presence. Loyal to him, Karen had been reluctant to question him or make him uncomfortable.
The Mirrored Door, a book about hidden barriers facing women in business, helped her name that conflict. Karen said it felt like reading her own diary. She spoke directly with her boss about the gap between his stated support for her advancement and actions that sometimes left her out of important conversations or diminished her authority. Because their relationship rested on mutual respect, he listened. After Karen shared the book, he bought copies for the CEO, board members, and colleagues.
Karen also sought mentors in her industry and began mentoring younger women. Her growth was no longer only about her next opportunity. She could help widen the path for other women, too.
The Shift: Before and After
Karen came to coaching feeling that her path ahead had narrowed. She was carrying too much, holding back, and measuring her value by how much she could personally manage.
By the end of our engagement, she was operating more strategically and setting clearer boundaries. She could say no without feeling disloyal, let others take ownership, and speak with senior leaders as a peer. When she needed to raise a difficult issue, she no longer assumed that preserving the relationship required her to remain silent.
Her organization noticed. Karen was promoted to regional operations manager, becoming the first woman to hold the role. She was also appointed as the first woman on the Executive Leadership Team and is regularly invited to board meetings to contribute to strategic planning.
What This Engagement Reinforced for Me as a Coach
Karen’s experience reinforced how quietly an earlier leadership experience can shape someone after circumstances change. Her confidence was still responding to a critical former boss rather than the supportive leader she had now. Seeing that gap gave her more freedom to choose how she wanted to lead.
It also reminded me that authenticity and assertiveness do not have to compete. Karen did not need to care less or become less emotional. She needed to trust that those qualities could coexist with clear boundaries and a strong voice. As she stopped proving her value by being indispensable, she became more influential — and more fully the leader she wanted to be.