“He’d been focused on getting his colleagues to listen to him. Progress began when he took the time to listen to them.”
Being Right Wasn’t Enough
When I began working with a vice president of analytics at a software company, he was having a hard time getting his colleagues on board with his ideas. He did his homework. His analysis was sound, and he came to meetings ready to explain his recommendations. Even so, he kept running into resistance, especially from leaders on the sales team.
It was frustrating. He had valuable work to share and wanted people to see what he could contribute. Instead, he felt as though they weren’t listening. He came to coaching hoping to become more influential and handle those internal negotiations more effectively.
Looking Beyond the Presentation
My client believed that the way to win support was to make the strongest case. If he prepared thoroughly, brought the right data, and explained the facts clearly, his colleagues should see the value of his ideas. When they pushed back, it was hard to understand why.
There was a piece of the conversation he hadn’t given as much attention to: what his colleagues needed. What were they working toward? What mattered most to them? He knew his own reasons for wanting a recommendation to move forward, but he had more to learn about theirs.
I challenged him to spend some time with the sales leaders, particularly the two who pushed back most often. I wanted him to practice listening to their concerns.
Starting With Their Goals
We kept the questions simple: “What are your top goals for the year?” and “How can my team help you achieve your goals and help you be successful?” He asked both sales leaders those questions, listened to what they had to say, and offered his support.
That gave him something his preparation alone couldn’t provide: a better understanding of the people across the table. As he learned what they cared about, he could begin to see how his team’s work might help them succeed. There was more room for cooperation once he understood what they were each trying to accomplish.
Seeing Influence Work Through Someone Else
After one of those conversations, a sales leader did something that brought the lesson home. He advocated for my client’s position without my client having to say anything. It was a wonderful moment of recognition. My client had been working so hard to get people to hear his point of view — now a colleague was making the case for him.
He began to understand that negotiation didn’t have to mean winning an argument or a debate. Taking an interest in another leader’s goals and offering support could move his ideas forward. The analysis still mattered, but now he could pair it with a better understanding of the people whose support he needed.
The Shift — A New Way to Build Support
My client came to coaching wanting his ideas to be appreciated and accepted. Through these conversations, he discovered a more productive way to work toward that goal. He could ask questions, learn what mattered to his colleagues, and look for ways to help.
The sales leader’s willingness to advocate for his position made that change especially meaningful. My client no longer had to think of influence solely as something that happened when he presented his case. He could also build it in the conversations that helped colleagues understand and support one another’s work.
What This Engagement Reinforced for Me as a Coach
This experience reinforced for me that influence grows when leaders take time to understand one another. My client already had strong ideas and sound analysis. Listening to what mattered to his colleagues helped him put those strengths to better use — and turn resistance into support.