Don’t be Clueless — Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence (EQ) and the role it plays in our lives is not a new idea. Pioneered by Daniel Goleman in the mid-1990’s, emotional intelligence is “a different way of being smart. It’s not your IQ; it’s how you manage yourself and your relationships.”

Today, the research tells us that 90% of all top performers have a high EQ — most of us sense high EQ in leaders intuitively don’t we? The correlation between leadership, performance, and high levels of emotional intelligence seems clear. How can we develop our own EQ? Where do we begin?

Start with self-awareness

Goleman’s EQ model consists of four interrelated components:

Self awareness
Social awareness
Relationship management

EQ self-awareness is the ability to understand our own emotions, how they impact others, and how they effect our performance.

(For more information about emotional intelligence and its importance, read Arden Coaching’s blogs, “What is Emotional Intelligence?” and “Why is Emotional Intelligence So Important Anyway?”

360 Degree Assessment: a clear image of yourself

It’s one thing to objectively assess another person’s emotions, maturity, and the impact their behavior has on others. However, when it comes to taking an honest look in the mirror and assessing our own emotional state, what triggers our emotions, and how we effect others, most of us are clueless. In fact, it is estimated that as little as 10% of us are self-aware — illustrating a significant gap between our perception of ourselves and reality.

We have found that a 360 degree assessment, executed properly, is the most effective way to see yourself clearly. To fully leverage the information learned and to create real change, a 360 degree assessment should be part of an executive coaching engagement.

For more about 360 degree assessments, read Arden Coaching’s “360 Assessments Result in Big, Positive Changes: When Done Right.”

Leaders with high EQ exhibit the following characteristics:

  • They are not overly emotional
  • They do not hide their feelings — they are transparent and vulnerable
  • They recognize their own emotional triggers
  • They avoid blaming others
  • They are sensitive to other’s needs
  • They are good at motivating others
  • They are good at timing their messages to have the greatest impact
  • They can “read a room”

Emotional self-awareness enhances our ability to recognize the interplay of emotions in a given situation. It improves our perspective, listening and communication skills, relationships, and confidence. Self-awareness is the first major milestone toward building a high EQ and becoming an effective leader.

To learn more about emotional intelligence, 360 degree assessments, and executive coaching, contact us at [email protected] or 646.844.2233.