What if you embraced more of an “enough-ist” mindset and let go of your perfectionist mindset? I can fall prey to perfectionism, as do many of the leaders I coach. Do you have this tendency? When I notice I have a really high bar for something I am working on, I pause and reflect as a first step. What are the benefits of an “enough-ist” mindset. Would it help you to ask yourself a few reflection questions?
- How does being perfect (or trying to be) serve you in general?
- How does it being perfect (or trying to be) get in your way in general?
- Now think about the current situation, what is important to consider? How much is enough for this project or deliverable?
One of my examples this week is a document with many details consolidating input from many colleagues. I could probably still be working to tweak it if I had not paused to reflect. I reflected and decided how much is enough in this situation. I set a timer and made myself be done. I shared the draft with a couple of trusted colleagues first. Then I set up time for a broader group to discuss and shared my work-in-progress document.
Next, consider if any of these resources will support you:
- How much self-compassion are you giving yourself? I love Kristin Neff’s work on this topic. Neff lays out three elements of self compassion:
- Self-kindness versus self-judgment.
- Common humanity versus insolation.
- Mindfulness versus over-identification.
- Sometimes I need to ask for help but resist doing so. It is hard to ask for help! What do you need? Who can help? What is your request? You Are What You Say by Matthew Budd, Larry Rothstein, and Patch Adams, offers tips. Chapter 4 has helped me clarify what I am asking for, which makes it easier for the other person to respond clearly. What if you asked for help with a clear, concise request?
- Being imperfect is human, and it is hard for those of use who can tend toward perfectionism. I have discovered some gifts in opening up to my imperfection. A great book to start on this journey is Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Learn more about the 10 guideposts and where you are currently with Brown’s free assessment in the above link.
What will you try out?
To learn more about the power of imperfection and building your leadership skills, contact Kelly for a consultation.